Bill's Emotional Rating Challenge

This challenge was put to me by Bill Nason, whom I know well from another list. The idea is to choose any emotion that is hard to feel at low levels, and then create an effective rating scale where you list different life events or experiences that cause you to feel this emotion at low levels. For people who are in touch with their feelings, the challenge would be to find an emotion that they could do this with- it has to be one that is somehow hard to feel. Later, I will post more of Bill's background information for this- but for now, here are my parameters (feel free to change them to something that works for you- it will still meet the challenge).

My rating scale is from 0 to 10. A rating of 0 means that the event does not make me feel the emotion at all, and a rating of 10 means that the event makes me feel the emotion at the highest level of intensity imaginable. I can have feelings I am not aware of, so this can be a real challenge for me.

Here is one example:

Worry Table (mine)

10-Being in the W T C when the planes hit it, or having a friend or family member inside, or equivalent

9-Losing my purse with all my cash and credit cards in it- and some other items that are virtually irreplaceable, but highly useful.

8.-Number 7.5 below, where the person is insisting that there is no explanation, and refusing to even speak to me.

7.5-Being accused by a friend of being incredibly rude or arrogant or hateful, when all I have done was misunderstand directions to something, or misread a social cue-- and being worried about how to communicate what I need to clear my name, and help my friend not feel hurt by the misunderstanding. (My friend's reaction can make this better or worse.)

7. Being publicly blamed for something I have not done, with the appearance given that nobody will believe me.

6-Being observed at work, in an unfamilar task, where I have only heard the directions one quick time, and I am being evaluated on how well I understand NTs.

5.- Trying to hear really important directions in a crowded, noisy room, where the person giving them is really quiet, has already repeated them twice, and I have not really understood well enough to do them.

5-Finding a person I know (and am supposed to recognize) in a crowded place, when I have not disclosed being face blind.

5. Seeing my mother cry, when I was a child, and did not understand why she was crying. (I wanted to make her feel better, but could not really do it.)

4- Being unable to find my glasses, when I am at home, know they are in the house, and can find my back-up pair.

4. Getting a letter from the IRS, saying I owe several hundred dollars, and being told I need to find records to show I dont (and I have put the records away over a year ago, and do not immediately know where they are).

3.5 Needing to drive 8 hours in a snowstorm, but with a car that is in good working order, with a full tank of gas, and no passengers.

3- Thinking about things I need to do the next day, when it is bedtime (writing them all down takes away that worry, and puts this back to Level 1 or 0)

2- Having a student get worried about having the ability to learn my subject.

1- Needing something from the store, and learning that it is closed after I get there- so I will need to go back the next day (but the item is not one I really need even this week).

0-- Doing interesting mathematics problems

0-- Public speaking. (Do I lack the T.O.M. to have stagefright? I have never had any, unless the situation itself warranted it.)

A Favorite Word

"Let the righteous smite me in kindness and reprove me;
It is oil upon my head;
Do not let my head refuse it,..." ~ from Psalms 141: 5

I like this word, because it says my attitude towards my friends: Do not spare my feelings, but clearly tell me what I need to know, when you see me in error. I can read between the lines a little bit, but if you do not want me to know at all, for fear that my feelings will be hurt, then I will likely not know (from you), and if I do not learn indirectly, then I will be hurt, because the thing that is really wrong will surface, and I may not even know what hit me.

There are people who do not want to know. There are many reasons: fear of feeling badly, worry that the correction they receive is not accurate, pride, fear of rejection from the person who shared, low self-image, laziness, and more.

I can read this:

Me: "Do I look fat in this dress?" (Assume for the sake of argument that I do- to you and to me.)
You: "I like the color, but I would not wear it."

I cannot read this:

Me: "Do I look fat in this dress?" (Assume for the sake of argument that I do- to you and to me.)
You: "You look beautiful today."

Some people cannot understand either of these statements. I used to be one of them. For that case, say something more clearly than either of these scenarios, if your friend really wants to know.

If a friend realizes that I do not understand, I hope my friend will say it more clearly to me. I really want to know. If I hear what my friend says and think I understand when I do not, and I act on what I think I know, I hope my friend will stop me and correct my misunderstanding in time. I would not be offended if my friend were to say,

"Yes, you look fat- I know you will look OK in that dress another day, but today, it will not be what you desire."

or something else equally fair. My feelings of looking bad are completely overwhelmed by my feelings of delight that I have an honest friend who cares enough to risk offending me, to help me be my best in this situation. I feel this way in general.

Do you?