Monday, August 31, 2009

A Rubbed-Out N Label

Lately, I have been typing on a keyboard with the N on the N-key unreadable, due to being rubbed-out. All the other keys look new. I have tried white-out to make an N, but have not been successful- and it chips off too quickly to be worth it, anyway. I know where the N is positionally, so I really do not need to mark that key. If all the keys were blank, it would be a little bit more difficult, since I really do not have the keyboard memorized, but once my hands are positioned, then I can type just fine without looking.

In the real world, I am sometimes like that N-key in that I do not always have the veneer I need. I recently learned, for example, that when speaking, I have just been judging how long I will speak, but not saying a word to my listeners that I have the time mapped out and will not speak too long- and then, they worry about this. It is just one more way that I am like the N, without a marker where there needs to be one for people to fill in the blanks and figure out where it is-- only now that I know, I find myself putting this marker in place where needed- as a teacher, I think it helps my students feel better, knowing that I won't make them choose between staying later than the end of the time (and being late to something else), or leaving before I am finished (being rude) coupled with missing material they need to know. If I do not say, and make them have faith that I know internally (I do), it still adds stress to their lives- something I do not like to happen to me. It is, after all, easier for me when a person states that my needs have been taken into account, and the person is aware of my needs and understands them- and here, I was doing to others a thing that made me feel stressed.

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